Ok! So it's been a long journey! Well worth it and still a long way to go :)
He's coming to Oz! He saved up for all the visa costs, etc and we're waiting for approval! Can't believe he could be here any day now!
I've learnt as much as I can learn by phone communication but can't wait for him to get here so we can start the next chapter in our relationship. By the next chapter I mean living in the same city again. Hahaha!
I'm missing him heaps and can't wait to see him. Over the months I've learnt where to give in and when to be stubborn. I've tested his patience and he's tested mine. I know when he's up to something. If he's lying or telling the truth.
We almost broke up a few months ago because he wasn't putting in any action to match his words but things change and we're happy as ever (minus the distance).
Looking forward to the next few
Months :)
If any I you ladies contemplating on being with fijian men, post me a comment and I'll answer as best as I can about my experiences.
Getting into a long distance relationship with a Fijian man is no easy road.
- You WILL have your bouts of insecurity.
- You will feel lonely and spend an hour on the phone just to have the company (nobody fills the void better than the person that loves you).
- You will have suspicions about why he's with you because it's such a hard road.
- You will be mesmerized the second you decide you'll give the relationship a shot.
- You will need to overcome culture differences as well as the normal changes a relationship goes through.
I've heard a lot of stories about these types of relationships going wrong but for me, so far so good! This is looking positive! :)
Best of luck to you all and drop a comment if you have any Q's :)
I hope it works out for you both. I am married to a Fijian much younger male and have wondered if the 4yrs that we have been married if he 'ever' was sincere in his feelings towards me.
ReplyDeleteFrom his actions through out this whole time I have never trusted him. When we first met he didnt show his love for drinking both alcohol & kava to me, this was well hidden from me. This caused us massive arguements, (I'm not a drinker) and he didnt quite understand our aussie way of talking slang or our sayings.
He tried several times when he was drunk to physically be violent towards me, I stood up to him and he hasnt tried it again, another thing to watch out for is domestic violence in Fijian and Indian culture, it happens quite alot, especially when the males are off drinking, the sad thing is that they all accept it as normality, which in our culture it is not accepted or tolerated. You can be with the fijian family and they would not blink an eye if their son showed any sign of violence towards the vavalagi female, which is very sad and frustrating & frightening for an outsider to see and deal with.
I never wanted someone who drank and man he and his whole family drink alcohol like its water, and the nightly long hours of sitting and drinking kava till the early mornings and then being too tired to have the energy to do anything the next day, what a waste of holiday time when the whole family do this 'every single day' not pleasant for a vavalagi sitting on the outside watching this.
To cut my story short we are still living together as a couple, however I dont trust, like and am now loosing any feelings that I once had for him. He treats and shows respect and courtesy towards his family then his own wife.
If he could do as he pleased he would go out drinking and clubbing and womanising every single night if he had the chance. He proved it when I gave him the chance to go to his workmates party, held at the workmates house they made sure there were heaps of girls invited and 'my husband' stupidly took photo's on his mobile ph of the girl he met, cuddling and pashing, I mean how stupid can one be, when I confronted him with his own evidence he couldnt get out of this one, so I told him no more parties.
Further evidence was found when he was still living and working back in Fiji, I bought him a mobile so we could chat every day and he had photo's of his 2 girlfriends, when I confronted him on this one all his response was that it was '2 cousins that he was cuddling at a funeral' the thing is while he was still in Fiji he was sleeping around, drinking and playing the single fella (at that stage we were engaged) and while I was back home in Aust earning and saving money for my next trip back to Fiji to see him..
I have a long story but I wont bore you with it all, just go with your gut instinct and go in with your eyes wide open, if it dont feel right then its a sign. Speak with other female friends (un-related if possible) who get to see the real fella when its just fijians together, you can learn alot.
So sorry to hear your experience. How is it all going now? I guess like any relationship, it's on a case by case basis about the alcohol and kava. I let my man know right from the beginning that it wasn't acceptable to me. His drinking isn't often but every few months when he went out for drinks it was to extremes. We've worked though it together and he knows what's acceptable and what is not but I also had to be understanding and work out the cause of his drinking. Regarding your comment about whether his feelings were ever sincere, read my most recent post on my blog.
DeleteLooks like you were blinded by love. I am truly sorry for your violence experience and please do understand that is not the behaviour of all or even most Fijian men. There are faults on lifestyles in most cultures including your own but the key is understanding and communication. The actions of individuals cannot always be blamed on his country, families and friends, there comes a time when as adults the action we take and its consequences are ours alone. Society does not force anyone to drink, be violent, bitchy, have interracial relationships etc etc. Those decisions are individually made and therefore its consequences either positive or negative is entirely the individuals concerned.
ReplyDeleteCheckout my blog too, its solely about Fijian relationship with other races.
ReplyDeletehttp://modernfijian.blogspot.co.uk/
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ReplyDeleteWow!! It was so long ago that I wrote this post and my have me and my Fijian man come a long way!!
ReplyDeletePlease feel free to browse through my other posts in this blog or to ask any questions on the posts or via my new 'I've Got a Question...' Post and I'll be happy to respond.
Feel free to email me at ivegotthetravelbug2011@hotmail.com if you would like as well.
Wishing you all the happiness, excitement, contentment and love throughout your journey.
Lots of Love
ivegotthetravelbug2011