Ok... SO we've past the 6 month mark and he's back over in Fiji... Not a good thing for us really... He's busy with everyone there and I'm working over here... the communication seems to be breaking down. It kind of feels like it's 'out of sight, out of mind'. We Skype every now and again and text here and there. Communication is no longer every day and I've been going through a lot lately... It's really hard. When you're going through the hard things life throws at you, you think that your partner will be there to support you through it all. Not necessarily physically there but none the less, you can feel their presence... Maybe this isn't a real relationship any more... Maybe I'm just too scared to be on my own... but i am on my own... just not officially... If he wants to be with me and really loves me, would he let communication just die down like that? I've stopped trying... No more effort, just going through the motions, sometimes I wake up and it's a brand new day... sometimes I wake up and its like all the troubles come flooding into my mind before i've even opened my eyes. I feel like I invested so much of me into this and that i have invested enough into my friendships since I came back from overseas... Everyone's too bsuy and I just sit here letting life fly by only took look back at yesterday and think, 'What on earth am I doing?' I feel like I can't let him go because I have harldy anyone left.
Are women with my thoughts the type that men from these foreign paradises prey on? i believe I am, somewhere inside me, a good person with good values, maybe too niaeve and too emotionally scattered... I spoke to someone not too long ago and they told me, the way to know if he's serious is to see how long he sticks around. If he's not really in love with you then he can't fake that investment for very long. He'll get distracted and move on.' Maybe this is whats happening? I don't know. My mind doesn't have enough energy to think about these things any more. I'll get a little thought then just move on... Will post again in the next few days and update on things that've changed...
Sunday 29 April 2012
Monday 2 April 2012
Aussie Woman... Fijian Man...
Hi everyone...
I'm in need of you opinions...
Just wondering if any of you western ladies experienced your fijian man talking about starting a family and working hard to build a life with you. Unfortunately I seem too often to be a little niave.
Me and my Fijian man are the same age (Mid 20's) and have been together 6 months so far. He has had the opportunity to come and study in Oz since we met in Fiji... I stayed there for 6months...
In Fiji he spent money to come and see me... He doesn't seem lazy as he had a job that paid minimal though... He doesn't smoke or drink kava often as he's very into fittness and rugby... loves drinking alcohol with the boys though but not very often.... one night he went out drinking and he answered the phone when he was out at a club then realised the next morning i was upset because he didn't call me back that night like he said he would (lost his phone)... He called at least 70 times from varioous numbers but i didn't answer for a long while...
I haven't made things easy for him emotionally when I was there but he still stuck around and we got through it... Now that he's in Oz (different state though) and we've been talking about him coming here for longer periods for us to get to know each other properly.
At first he was talking about wanting to raise his family in Fiji... his kids experiencing the simple things... I don't know if this is genuine or true... anyway, i've kept things quiet about our relationship from family and only my nearest and dearest know about the relationship. Even then i can't fully express myself because of how they might think of him or their influence on my decisions... because I want to be convinced of it first...
I had my doubts but I let them slide and relied on God to make that decision for me on wether he was genuine... If he isn't then i hope God takes him away from me because I don't know how much strength i'd have when it comes tio the crunch... I am an overweight girl and he's quite athletic... I've let him know that if he wants a rich girl then he's picked the wrong person... I live on my own and have debt which he now knows about in full... He offered to eventually find work and help me pay it off but i decluned and said for him to save to pay for him coming over is better... his father is in the US but not a citizen yet... He sends him money too...
I stayed in Fiji for quite some time and know a lot about Fijian culture and gender roles, etc... I haven't spent much on him so he gets used to looking after himself. When he came to visit me in Fiji he would pay for transport to my place and I'd cover food and expenses for anything we did... I did most of the calling... In Oz, I did most of the calling too and paid for his flights to come see me... we had a little fight about that and he buys his own credit now.. hopefully he will pay for his next flight...
We were talking about him coming on a holiday visa to the same city as me... talk extended to fiance visa... i was sort of angry when he mentioned this... we spoke about being together for the long term before and i let him know that we'd have to be together at least 2 years before getting engaged... then a year later marriage if things are working out... i think that amount of time is good to really get to know someone... but in the same city at least...
We were just friends at the beginning and spoke over the phone for about 6 weeks before he expressed how he felt for me... he came at a time when i needed a friend and i was a little vulnerable... i had to push him to express how he felt though...
i don't know what to think and feel about him anymore... we talk at least 5 times a day so im hoping that means that there's no one else... We haven't had sex as I'm saving it for marriage and he know's this and is ok with it... he's still stuck around... We talk first thing in the morning, a few times throughout our day and for a long while before sleeping... Sometimes we'll sleep on the phone together...
Does this seem like one of the relationships where he only wants to come to australia?? He also has the opportunity for a potential rugby sponsorship...
Am I being blinded that i can't see reality??
Your oppinions would be much appreciated..
Vinaka Vakalevu!
I'm in need of you opinions...
Just wondering if any of you western ladies experienced your fijian man talking about starting a family and working hard to build a life with you. Unfortunately I seem too often to be a little niave.
Me and my Fijian man are the same age (Mid 20's) and have been together 6 months so far. He has had the opportunity to come and study in Oz since we met in Fiji... I stayed there for 6months...
In Fiji he spent money to come and see me... He doesn't seem lazy as he had a job that paid minimal though... He doesn't smoke or drink kava often as he's very into fittness and rugby... loves drinking alcohol with the boys though but not very often.... one night he went out drinking and he answered the phone when he was out at a club then realised the next morning i was upset because he didn't call me back that night like he said he would (lost his phone)... He called at least 70 times from varioous numbers but i didn't answer for a long while...
I haven't made things easy for him emotionally when I was there but he still stuck around and we got through it... Now that he's in Oz (different state though) and we've been talking about him coming here for longer periods for us to get to know each other properly.
At first he was talking about wanting to raise his family in Fiji... his kids experiencing the simple things... I don't know if this is genuine or true... anyway, i've kept things quiet about our relationship from family and only my nearest and dearest know about the relationship. Even then i can't fully express myself because of how they might think of him or their influence on my decisions... because I want to be convinced of it first...
I had my doubts but I let them slide and relied on God to make that decision for me on wether he was genuine... If he isn't then i hope God takes him away from me because I don't know how much strength i'd have when it comes tio the crunch... I am an overweight girl and he's quite athletic... I've let him know that if he wants a rich girl then he's picked the wrong person... I live on my own and have debt which he now knows about in full... He offered to eventually find work and help me pay it off but i decluned and said for him to save to pay for him coming over is better... his father is in the US but not a citizen yet... He sends him money too...
I stayed in Fiji for quite some time and know a lot about Fijian culture and gender roles, etc... I haven't spent much on him so he gets used to looking after himself. When he came to visit me in Fiji he would pay for transport to my place and I'd cover food and expenses for anything we did... I did most of the calling... In Oz, I did most of the calling too and paid for his flights to come see me... we had a little fight about that and he buys his own credit now.. hopefully he will pay for his next flight...
We were talking about him coming on a holiday visa to the same city as me... talk extended to fiance visa... i was sort of angry when he mentioned this... we spoke about being together for the long term before and i let him know that we'd have to be together at least 2 years before getting engaged... then a year later marriage if things are working out... i think that amount of time is good to really get to know someone... but in the same city at least...
We were just friends at the beginning and spoke over the phone for about 6 weeks before he expressed how he felt for me... he came at a time when i needed a friend and i was a little vulnerable... i had to push him to express how he felt though...
i don't know what to think and feel about him anymore... we talk at least 5 times a day so im hoping that means that there's no one else... We haven't had sex as I'm saving it for marriage and he know's this and is ok with it... he's still stuck around... We talk first thing in the morning, a few times throughout our day and for a long while before sleeping... Sometimes we'll sleep on the phone together...
Does this seem like one of the relationships where he only wants to come to australia?? He also has the opportunity for a potential rugby sponsorship...
Am I being blinded that i can't see reality??
Your oppinions would be much appreciated..
Vinaka Vakalevu!
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