Ok! So it's been a long journey! Well worth it and still a long way to go :)
He's coming to Oz! He saved up for all the visa costs, etc and we're waiting for approval! Can't believe he could be here any day now!
I've learnt as much as I can learn by phone communication but can't wait for him to get here so we can start the next chapter in our relationship. By the next chapter I mean living in the same city again. Hahaha!
I'm missing him heaps and can't wait to see him. Over the months I've learnt where to give in and when to be stubborn. I've tested his patience and he's tested mine. I know when he's up to something. If he's lying or telling the truth.
We almost broke up a few months ago because he wasn't putting in any action to match his words but things change and we're happy as ever (minus the distance).
Looking forward to the next few
Months :)
If any I you ladies contemplating on being with fijian men, post me a comment and I'll answer as best as I can about my experiences.
Getting into a long distance relationship with a Fijian man is no easy road.
- You WILL have your bouts of insecurity.
- You will feel lonely and spend an hour on the phone just to have the company (nobody fills the void better than the person that loves you).
- You will have suspicions about why he's with you because it's such a hard road.
- You will be mesmerized the second you decide you'll give the relationship a shot.
- You will need to overcome culture differences as well as the normal changes a relationship goes through.
I've heard a lot of stories about these types of relationships going wrong but for me, so far so good! This is looking positive! :)
Best of luck to you all and drop a comment if you have any Q's :)
Sunday 18 November 2012
Wednesday 25 July 2012
Applying for his Visa :)
So we're as happy as can be!
We're planning apply for a tourist visa late next week and so excited to have the opportunity to know each other more. We're both becoming more focused and working on what he'll do while I'm at work and where he'll stay when he's here.
I think it's a good idea for him to stay close by but not actually at my place. We're still getting to
Know each other do it's good we each have our own space to breathe a little and think about our relationship when we're not together.
Looking forward to him picking me up for dates. We'll still cook dinner at mine and see each other in the mornings :) or that's at least what we hope will happen. We'll just have to wait and see.
For now I think I'm getting ahead of myself... We need to wait for visa approval but I'm confident that it'll go well.
He's been working at his current job in Fiji for 3years and has a great relationship with his boss. We have a place for him to say in Aus and all expenses covered. A bank statement that is hopefully more than sufficient thank God.
When I spoke with the Aust Embassy they said we needed a minimum of $1000 per month that the visitor will be in Australia. I've got a friend who's sponsoring him for me which is really nice.
I think all the bases are covered
Proof of intention to return to Fiji - Work tenure letter and payslip. Approval of leave.
Proof of having financial Support - Sponsor Letter and bank statement
Proof of being a genuine visitor - Invitation letter
I think all the bases are covered. Now it'll just be a point of submitting and waiting a week then the next chapter of our journey can finally begin :)
Good luck to all of you out there going through the heartache of long distance.
Till next time... :)
We're planning apply for a tourist visa late next week and so excited to have the opportunity to know each other more. We're both becoming more focused and working on what he'll do while I'm at work and where he'll stay when he's here.
I think it's a good idea for him to stay close by but not actually at my place. We're still getting to
Know each other do it's good we each have our own space to breathe a little and think about our relationship when we're not together.
Looking forward to him picking me up for dates. We'll still cook dinner at mine and see each other in the mornings :) or that's at least what we hope will happen. We'll just have to wait and see.
For now I think I'm getting ahead of myself... We need to wait for visa approval but I'm confident that it'll go well.
He's been working at his current job in Fiji for 3years and has a great relationship with his boss. We have a place for him to say in Aus and all expenses covered. A bank statement that is hopefully more than sufficient thank God.
When I spoke with the Aust Embassy they said we needed a minimum of $1000 per month that the visitor will be in Australia. I've got a friend who's sponsoring him for me which is really nice.
I think all the bases are covered
Proof of intention to return to Fiji - Work tenure letter and payslip. Approval of leave.
Proof of having financial Support - Sponsor Letter and bank statement
Proof of being a genuine visitor - Invitation letter
I think all the bases are covered. Now it'll just be a point of submitting and waiting a week then the next chapter of our journey can finally begin :)
Good luck to all of you out there going through the heartache of long distance.
Till next time... :)
Tuesday 24 July 2012
So it was all just in my head...
So since yesterdays post it seems everything i was thinking may have just been from my own insecurities and stress.
We had a good talk tonight and he assured me that he's fine and was just hungover from the weekend. Simple explanation.
He's soon to come to Oz so we can get to know each other better so It'll probably help me not to keep jumping to these conclusions ;-)
Posting on this blog for all you Aussie girls that are new to seeing a Fijian guy :) because I wish I had something recent to refer to when I first started dating my Fijian man. Best of luck to you all xx
We had a good talk tonight and he assured me that he's fine and was just hungover from the weekend. Simple explanation.
He's soon to come to Oz so we can get to know each other better so It'll probably help me not to keep jumping to these conclusions ;-)
Posting on this blog for all you Aussie girls that are new to seeing a Fijian guy :) because I wish I had something recent to refer to when I first started dating my Fijian man. Best of luck to you all xx
Monday 23 July 2012
We've made it 9 months in...
We're still going at nine months.
Its really been hard especially the distance...
We're organizing a tourist visa to for 3months because I need to know him more face to face. He's organizing funds for the visa and flight all on his own which is great! To date, haven't sent him a single dollar and he's keeping in contact through Skype as often as he can.
He's been really down lately and just not himself over the last few weeks though...
He went out drinking the other weekend and lost his phone. A very common thing that happens with Fijians so just a heads up, they don't hold their alcohol too well and don't have a sense of when to stop from what I've seen. Luckily I had some of his families numbers so I could get in touch with him.
It's starting to get rocky again to be honest but isn't that what happens in relationships?
Contact has picked up a lot since my last post. We message usually about 5 times a day each way. And Skype about 2 times a week for about an hour each time. Lately I've been calling him a few times a day because I found a cheap prepaid plan.
For all of u that are wondering, GT Mobile is really great to call Fiji from Australia! 16c a min and 29c flagfall! Cheapest I've found and u an order the sim card and recharge online.
Getting back to it... I spoke to him the day after his big night out and he sounded so depressed and started saying things like 'I have no life' and 'your too good for me'. Not sure why he would say that but he's been really down so I'm just trying to make sense of it all and figure out what's going on...
He said he really needs me during this time so I've been calling extra, checking in on him and just trying to keep him positive. I called his family members too and asked them to keep an eye out if he's really down for support. I'm worried about him...
Anyway, over the last few days the tone ive gotten from him has been short and not really wanting to talk for long after that initial conversation regardless of my expressing my care for him and letting him know im there for him and being as supportive as I can given there's an ocean between us.
Till tonight I didn't even think of unfaithfulness because most nights I speak with him he's at work or at home and we connect. Today he hasnt really wanted to talk. Called about 3 times for about 2mins each because we just wouldn't be talking then he'd ask if I could call back later which is fair enough.
Tonight though... I called and he was at a pool hall I think but he said somthing else... Anyway what he said didn't add up. When I called to say goodnight I asked if he was at work or at home and he just paused... Then he said he was sleeping at a friends place... We just both paused and in the brief silence there was tension. He softened his words from the last few days shortness and asked me to call him in the morning... There was no 'goodnight' or 'i love you' that we usually say at the end of our conversations then it hit me... I felt like he was cheating on me then and there...
He said he wants to Skype with me tomorrow but he can't because he has no money. I think for the first time ever he's hinting at me to send some but I'm worried he might just go buy alcohol with it given his state of mind at the moment...
I'm really confused and leaning towards not continuing with the relationship. But then i tell myself That im commited and need to stick By him through tough times too...
He's seeming a emotionally unstable and won't talk much about it do I understand what he's going through... I'm worried that when and if he still comes to Aus what will happen... He's strong. I'm scared that if he's unstable and there's issues I don't know about that I'll be stuck in a big mess without having anyway out...
In saying that, I love him and want to help him through this. I want this to work but I don't know much about how I can help him or do more than I am.
As the for the unfaithfulness, I don't even know if it's there or not and probably never will... Do I trust my instincts or am I over thinking this?
I'm uncertain if the relationship will be even in the giving and taking...
I need a little food for thought. Let me know what you all think.
Vinanka
Its really been hard especially the distance...
We're organizing a tourist visa to for 3months because I need to know him more face to face. He's organizing funds for the visa and flight all on his own which is great! To date, haven't sent him a single dollar and he's keeping in contact through Skype as often as he can.
He's been really down lately and just not himself over the last few weeks though...
He went out drinking the other weekend and lost his phone. A very common thing that happens with Fijians so just a heads up, they don't hold their alcohol too well and don't have a sense of when to stop from what I've seen. Luckily I had some of his families numbers so I could get in touch with him.
It's starting to get rocky again to be honest but isn't that what happens in relationships?
Contact has picked up a lot since my last post. We message usually about 5 times a day each way. And Skype about 2 times a week for about an hour each time. Lately I've been calling him a few times a day because I found a cheap prepaid plan.
For all of u that are wondering, GT Mobile is really great to call Fiji from Australia! 16c a min and 29c flagfall! Cheapest I've found and u an order the sim card and recharge online.
Getting back to it... I spoke to him the day after his big night out and he sounded so depressed and started saying things like 'I have no life' and 'your too good for me'. Not sure why he would say that but he's been really down so I'm just trying to make sense of it all and figure out what's going on...
He said he really needs me during this time so I've been calling extra, checking in on him and just trying to keep him positive. I called his family members too and asked them to keep an eye out if he's really down for support. I'm worried about him...
Anyway, over the last few days the tone ive gotten from him has been short and not really wanting to talk for long after that initial conversation regardless of my expressing my care for him and letting him know im there for him and being as supportive as I can given there's an ocean between us.
Till tonight I didn't even think of unfaithfulness because most nights I speak with him he's at work or at home and we connect. Today he hasnt really wanted to talk. Called about 3 times for about 2mins each because we just wouldn't be talking then he'd ask if I could call back later which is fair enough.
Tonight though... I called and he was at a pool hall I think but he said somthing else... Anyway what he said didn't add up. When I called to say goodnight I asked if he was at work or at home and he just paused... Then he said he was sleeping at a friends place... We just both paused and in the brief silence there was tension. He softened his words from the last few days shortness and asked me to call him in the morning... There was no 'goodnight' or 'i love you' that we usually say at the end of our conversations then it hit me... I felt like he was cheating on me then and there...
He said he wants to Skype with me tomorrow but he can't because he has no money. I think for the first time ever he's hinting at me to send some but I'm worried he might just go buy alcohol with it given his state of mind at the moment...
I'm really confused and leaning towards not continuing with the relationship. But then i tell myself That im commited and need to stick By him through tough times too...
He's seeming a emotionally unstable and won't talk much about it do I understand what he's going through... I'm worried that when and if he still comes to Aus what will happen... He's strong. I'm scared that if he's unstable and there's issues I don't know about that I'll be stuck in a big mess without having anyway out...
In saying that, I love him and want to help him through this. I want this to work but I don't know much about how I can help him or do more than I am.
As the for the unfaithfulness, I don't even know if it's there or not and probably never will... Do I trust my instincts or am I over thinking this?
I'm uncertain if the relationship will be even in the giving and taking...
I need a little food for thought. Let me know what you all think.
Vinanka
Sunday 29 April 2012
6 months in...
Ok... SO we've past the 6 month mark and he's back over in Fiji... Not a good thing for us really... He's busy with everyone there and I'm working over here... the communication seems to be breaking down. It kind of feels like it's 'out of sight, out of mind'. We Skype every now and again and text here and there. Communication is no longer every day and I've been going through a lot lately... It's really hard. When you're going through the hard things life throws at you, you think that your partner will be there to support you through it all. Not necessarily physically there but none the less, you can feel their presence... Maybe this isn't a real relationship any more... Maybe I'm just too scared to be on my own... but i am on my own... just not officially... If he wants to be with me and really loves me, would he let communication just die down like that? I've stopped trying... No more effort, just going through the motions, sometimes I wake up and it's a brand new day... sometimes I wake up and its like all the troubles come flooding into my mind before i've even opened my eyes. I feel like I invested so much of me into this and that i have invested enough into my friendships since I came back from overseas... Everyone's too bsuy and I just sit here letting life fly by only took look back at yesterday and think, 'What on earth am I doing?' I feel like I can't let him go because I have harldy anyone left.
Are women with my thoughts the type that men from these foreign paradises prey on? i believe I am, somewhere inside me, a good person with good values, maybe too niaeve and too emotionally scattered... I spoke to someone not too long ago and they told me, the way to know if he's serious is to see how long he sticks around. If he's not really in love with you then he can't fake that investment for very long. He'll get distracted and move on.' Maybe this is whats happening? I don't know. My mind doesn't have enough energy to think about these things any more. I'll get a little thought then just move on... Will post again in the next few days and update on things that've changed...
Are women with my thoughts the type that men from these foreign paradises prey on? i believe I am, somewhere inside me, a good person with good values, maybe too niaeve and too emotionally scattered... I spoke to someone not too long ago and they told me, the way to know if he's serious is to see how long he sticks around. If he's not really in love with you then he can't fake that investment for very long. He'll get distracted and move on.' Maybe this is whats happening? I don't know. My mind doesn't have enough energy to think about these things any more. I'll get a little thought then just move on... Will post again in the next few days and update on things that've changed...
Monday 2 April 2012
Aussie Woman... Fijian Man...
Hi everyone...
I'm in need of you opinions...
Just wondering if any of you western ladies experienced your fijian man talking about starting a family and working hard to build a life with you. Unfortunately I seem too often to be a little niave.
Me and my Fijian man are the same age (Mid 20's) and have been together 6 months so far. He has had the opportunity to come and study in Oz since we met in Fiji... I stayed there for 6months...
In Fiji he spent money to come and see me... He doesn't seem lazy as he had a job that paid minimal though... He doesn't smoke or drink kava often as he's very into fittness and rugby... loves drinking alcohol with the boys though but not very often.... one night he went out drinking and he answered the phone when he was out at a club then realised the next morning i was upset because he didn't call me back that night like he said he would (lost his phone)... He called at least 70 times from varioous numbers but i didn't answer for a long while...
I haven't made things easy for him emotionally when I was there but he still stuck around and we got through it... Now that he's in Oz (different state though) and we've been talking about him coming here for longer periods for us to get to know each other properly.
At first he was talking about wanting to raise his family in Fiji... his kids experiencing the simple things... I don't know if this is genuine or true... anyway, i've kept things quiet about our relationship from family and only my nearest and dearest know about the relationship. Even then i can't fully express myself because of how they might think of him or their influence on my decisions... because I want to be convinced of it first...
I had my doubts but I let them slide and relied on God to make that decision for me on wether he was genuine... If he isn't then i hope God takes him away from me because I don't know how much strength i'd have when it comes tio the crunch... I am an overweight girl and he's quite athletic... I've let him know that if he wants a rich girl then he's picked the wrong person... I live on my own and have debt which he now knows about in full... He offered to eventually find work and help me pay it off but i decluned and said for him to save to pay for him coming over is better... his father is in the US but not a citizen yet... He sends him money too...
I stayed in Fiji for quite some time and know a lot about Fijian culture and gender roles, etc... I haven't spent much on him so he gets used to looking after himself. When he came to visit me in Fiji he would pay for transport to my place and I'd cover food and expenses for anything we did... I did most of the calling... In Oz, I did most of the calling too and paid for his flights to come see me... we had a little fight about that and he buys his own credit now.. hopefully he will pay for his next flight...
We were talking about him coming on a holiday visa to the same city as me... talk extended to fiance visa... i was sort of angry when he mentioned this... we spoke about being together for the long term before and i let him know that we'd have to be together at least 2 years before getting engaged... then a year later marriage if things are working out... i think that amount of time is good to really get to know someone... but in the same city at least...
We were just friends at the beginning and spoke over the phone for about 6 weeks before he expressed how he felt for me... he came at a time when i needed a friend and i was a little vulnerable... i had to push him to express how he felt though...
i don't know what to think and feel about him anymore... we talk at least 5 times a day so im hoping that means that there's no one else... We haven't had sex as I'm saving it for marriage and he know's this and is ok with it... he's still stuck around... We talk first thing in the morning, a few times throughout our day and for a long while before sleeping... Sometimes we'll sleep on the phone together...
Does this seem like one of the relationships where he only wants to come to australia?? He also has the opportunity for a potential rugby sponsorship...
Am I being blinded that i can't see reality??
Your oppinions would be much appreciated..
Vinaka Vakalevu!
I'm in need of you opinions...
Just wondering if any of you western ladies experienced your fijian man talking about starting a family and working hard to build a life with you. Unfortunately I seem too often to be a little niave.
Me and my Fijian man are the same age (Mid 20's) and have been together 6 months so far. He has had the opportunity to come and study in Oz since we met in Fiji... I stayed there for 6months...
In Fiji he spent money to come and see me... He doesn't seem lazy as he had a job that paid minimal though... He doesn't smoke or drink kava often as he's very into fittness and rugby... loves drinking alcohol with the boys though but not very often.... one night he went out drinking and he answered the phone when he was out at a club then realised the next morning i was upset because he didn't call me back that night like he said he would (lost his phone)... He called at least 70 times from varioous numbers but i didn't answer for a long while...
I haven't made things easy for him emotionally when I was there but he still stuck around and we got through it... Now that he's in Oz (different state though) and we've been talking about him coming here for longer periods for us to get to know each other properly.
At first he was talking about wanting to raise his family in Fiji... his kids experiencing the simple things... I don't know if this is genuine or true... anyway, i've kept things quiet about our relationship from family and only my nearest and dearest know about the relationship. Even then i can't fully express myself because of how they might think of him or their influence on my decisions... because I want to be convinced of it first...
I had my doubts but I let them slide and relied on God to make that decision for me on wether he was genuine... If he isn't then i hope God takes him away from me because I don't know how much strength i'd have when it comes tio the crunch... I am an overweight girl and he's quite athletic... I've let him know that if he wants a rich girl then he's picked the wrong person... I live on my own and have debt which he now knows about in full... He offered to eventually find work and help me pay it off but i decluned and said for him to save to pay for him coming over is better... his father is in the US but not a citizen yet... He sends him money too...
I stayed in Fiji for quite some time and know a lot about Fijian culture and gender roles, etc... I haven't spent much on him so he gets used to looking after himself. When he came to visit me in Fiji he would pay for transport to my place and I'd cover food and expenses for anything we did... I did most of the calling... In Oz, I did most of the calling too and paid for his flights to come see me... we had a little fight about that and he buys his own credit now.. hopefully he will pay for his next flight...
We were talking about him coming on a holiday visa to the same city as me... talk extended to fiance visa... i was sort of angry when he mentioned this... we spoke about being together for the long term before and i let him know that we'd have to be together at least 2 years before getting engaged... then a year later marriage if things are working out... i think that amount of time is good to really get to know someone... but in the same city at least...
We were just friends at the beginning and spoke over the phone for about 6 weeks before he expressed how he felt for me... he came at a time when i needed a friend and i was a little vulnerable... i had to push him to express how he felt though...
i don't know what to think and feel about him anymore... we talk at least 5 times a day so im hoping that means that there's no one else... We haven't had sex as I'm saving it for marriage and he know's this and is ok with it... he's still stuck around... We talk first thing in the morning, a few times throughout our day and for a long while before sleeping... Sometimes we'll sleep on the phone together...
Does this seem like one of the relationships where he only wants to come to australia?? He also has the opportunity for a potential rugby sponsorship...
Am I being blinded that i can't see reality??
Your oppinions would be much appreciated..
Vinaka Vakalevu!
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